I did not complain
by Tostie
Summary: Life is not easy. Life is especially not easy when you are a Half-blood in the Slytherin House. Mix of movie and book verse. Covers all seven years. In honour of Alan Rickman


**Summary:** Life is not easy. Life is especially not easy when you are a Half-blood in the Slytherin House. Mix of movie and book verse. Covers all seven years. In honour of Alan Rickman

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 **I did not complain**

I did not complain when I was eleven and I was condemned by an entire school. I was a Slytherin so they thought I was evil. I was a Half-blood so I wasn't worthy. I did not complain who would listen to me?

I did not complain when they sent the entire house, my 'family' to the very dungeon a troll supposedly was. All of my seniors and if not them then my head of house must have already thought of the possibility and dismissed it as an issue. I was only eleven years old and a worthless offspring of a muggle. I knew little of magic. I did not complain, who would want to listen to me?

I did not complain when we lost the House cup that year. My classmates were right; the headmaster of Hogwarts clearly favoured Gryffindor. I was young I was not stupid; fifty points for a well played game of chess? Ridicules, even if the rumours were true and professor McGonagallhad created what did that matter? It was still only a game … one that no one had seen. The whooping one hundred and ten points Potter and Granger received for similarly vague reasons were just as ridicules. No one had seen anything and yet those two were receiving such a large number of points? And they dared to call her head of house biased? And then to prove her point the headmaster awarded Neville Longbottom enough points to beat Slytherin and for what? For showing **courage** ; he awarded a Gryffindor for being brave? Sure it was Longbottom, but the fact remained of all the things he could have given points for, the headmaster chose to give points for something that house prided itself in. Still I did not complain, who could hear me; the other three houses were making too much noise in celebration because the 'evil' house had finally lost.

I did not complain when I was twelve and I was not allowed to sit with the second year Slytherin on the train ride back to Hogwarts because they had important things to talk about. I did not complain, why should I? It was not like there was anyone in my compartment who would reply.

I did not complain when professor Snape launched Lockhart across the Great Hall during their 'duel'. Professor Snape was not a nice man, but I respected him greatly. It was a badly hidden secret that their head of house was one of few half-blood alumni of their house, yet no one, not even the upper years would dare to oppose the man whenever he came in their common room. I did not complain, why should I? There was nothing to complain about.

I did not complain when more than half the castle started looking at me in distrust after Halloween. It was not like I was the only one those accusing eyes kept staring at; from the smallest first year which could barely cast the most basic spells to that seventh who already seem to suffering from a minor mental breakdown due to extensive studying. I did not complain, why should I? Slytherin house showed no weakness to outsiders and with an ever increasing hostilities even I, a lowly half-blood was included in the 'united front' whenever I was out of the common room. I was finally not alone.

I did not complain when a couple of sixth year students cornered me in revenge for the perfections of one of their friends. I understood; it was my own fault I had left the group and had exposed myself to the treat known as 'everyone-that-is-not-us'. I cried as I sat alone, bloodied and bruised amid some cleaning supplies. It was dark and I couldn't get the door open, but I didn't complain, how could I? I couldn't even open my mouth properly, let alone cry for help.

I did not complain when I was punished. I had broken several unspoken and more than a few rules that had been repeated multiple times over the two years I had been there. Whatever progress I had made died there and then I had disgraced my house. I did not complain instead I made a silent vow; I vowed to learn as many defensive spells as I could. I did not want to suffer such pain and embarrassment ever again.

I did not complain when I heard the news that the monster in the Chamber of Secrets was defeated by Potter. I may be a Slytherin, but I am still a half-blood. Chances were good that when the monster was done with all the muggle-born and blood-traitors then it would have started attacking the half-bloods. I did not complain, not even when Gryffindor won the cup again.

I did not complain when I was thirteen and I had to spend another train ride on my own. The others had made it clear I was not forgiven for the disgrace I had brought to our house. I did not complain I had managed to obtain some wonderful books filled with all kinds of curses and hexes.

I did not complain after a close encounterwith the Dementors. I had seen **that** broom closet again. I could deal with it, I had to. I was a Slytherin; I was not allowed to show weaknesses to outsides and could not afford it to show it my dorm-mates.

I did not complain when I received detention from professor Lupin for skipping one of his lessons. I was a Slytherin, this was my third yearand one of the most important lessons taught to me was 'never show weaknesses' so when I heard through the grapevine that all the third years were facing Bogarts I immediately skipped the next DADA lesson. There was no way I would allow anyone to known such valuable information as my deepest fear like that. I did not complain, instead I used the detention to grill the new DADA teacher for useful information.

I did not complain when professor Snape called me into his office. I knew why I had been summoned, almost the entire house knew. It hadn't taken long for the news that two seventh year students had been found in a broom closet, severely wounded and with no recollection as to what had happened. The grudging looks of respect I had received from my housemates showed me one thing; I had no status to speak off, I had little money, but I had managed to best two students three years my senior without getting professor Snape only gave me a book about memory charms and sent me one my way again it was confirmed for me; power and cunning was just as important as blood and status. I did not complain, for the first time in nearly a year I was finally accepted back in the group.

I did not complain when I was fourteen and I was not allowed to enter the Tri-Wizard tournament. I had done my research when it was first announced and the death toll was staggering. I did not complain, I wasn't a Gryffindor after all.

I did not complain when Potter was named the fourth champion. I had shared classes with the boy for over three years, there was no way he of all people could fool the Goblet of Secrets. I did not complain I really did not care one way or another.

I did not complain when the new DADA teacher practically tortured Malfoy. I cared little for the Malfoy scion, but the house rules clearly states we should stand united against a common threat. Then again what could I have done, me, the fourteen year old student against a world famous Auror who has taken down infamous Death Eaters from You-Know-Who's inner circle. Again I was a Slytherin, not a suicidal Gryffindor. I did not complain I merely increased my studies. If I ever caught the eye of the mad Auror then I should at least buy myself enough time for a semi-rational teacher to save me.

I did not complain when Potter returned from the third task with Diggory's dead body while proclaiming the return of You-Know-Who. I did not complain, instead I was having a major panic attack. The power balance in the Slytherin house was a very fragile thing and what little standing I might have created for myself with my little show last year would become absolutely meaningless if the Dark Lord was truly back and the pureblood agenda became the prominent power in the house then I was totally screwed. I did not complain, I did not know who I could afford to complain to.

I did not complain when I was fifteen and one of my semi-friends informed me that our association was no longer profitable. With difficulty I held back my tears as I moved out of the compartment we shared last year and into a nearby empty one. I understood, truly I did. She had a sister to protect, a sister even I thought was way too naïve to belong in our house. If their relationship threatened the Greengrass sisters then it was only logical the older one severed it. I did not complain, who could I complain to, I was all alone again.

I did not complain when Umbridge little goon squad was disbanded. While Dumbledore had been biased towards his formed house at least he was not as biased as the former headmistress had been. To form a squad comprised completely from a single House and then have them alienate the other three houses was the height of folly. Unfortunately with their little protector gone the rest of the student body wanted revenge and as always this meant the entire house was targeted. Sure only a handful had been members, but then again they were Slytherin weren't they. If it wasn't for the squad then surely they must have done something wrong. I did not complain, after all there was no one to complain to, I was still a pariah.

I did not complain when the morning paper confirmed the return of the Dark Lord. I was neither blind nor deaf and most definitely did not need a paper to tell me something I already knew for nearly a year. I did not complain, I merely continued my studies. I may not want to join the Death Eaters, but if worst comes to worst then I should at least give them a reason to keep me alive.

I did not complain when I was sixteen and I had to curse some fools who thought they could make a name for themselves by taking out the 'Junior-Death Eater'. I almost felt bad at how easily I was able to crush them. For a moment those eyes filled with fear reminded me of myself all those years ago, but then the moment was gone and I raised my wand again to alter the little fools memory. When they would wake up they would be convinced that ass McLaggen had cursed them. I did not complain, small fry like them were not worth complaining about,

I did not complain when it became more and more unbearable both in and out the common room. With the public return of the Dark Lord several members of my 'family' had already tried to show me my place. Outside the common room most of the students looked at me with distrust, as if I suddenly would roll up my sleeve and reveal that I had the Dark Mark. Bloody fools the lot of them. I did not complain, what was the point? No one trusted me, an outsider.

I did not complain when the headmaster was killed. At some level I had understood this was a point of no return. A Slytherin …. no the **head** of the Slytherin house had murdered Albus Dumbledore if the Dark Lord did not take over soon then all of the headmaster's little sheep would lynch the entire Slytherin house within the week. As I stared at the white tomb that held the sole person that might have stood up against the Dark Lord I did not complain, now was not the time, nor the place … no matter how much I wanted it to.

I did not complain when I was seventeen and I returned for my seventh year and found that the place was now in the Dark Lord's hands. He himself was not there, but several of his Death Eaters had taken over positions as teachers, including her former head of house who was now the headmaster. The year was as bad as I feared, no worse; the school was no longer a school, and instead it had become nothing more than a training camp for future Death Eaters. I had thought I had been willing (albeit reluctantly) to join them if it meant I would be able to live, but the things they made me … us do were just plain sickening. Still I did not complain, after all the walls had ears and I really did not want to die.

I did not complain when Harry Potter stormed into the Great Hall followed by a small army. I watched and winched only in minor sympathy when the man I once respected was banished from the castle. I still held some level of respect for him, but his actions this year had painted him in a less than stellar light. It was then that the Dark Lord spoke to us all. Merlin that was terrifying, it was like the Dark Lord himself was standing behind me, whispering in my ears. His offer was tempting, so very tempting; give up Harry Potter and everyone else would live? With the Headmaster's death there wasn't anyone powerful enough to stand up to the Dark Lord so there really was only one logical wasn't there? Then why did my very being want to reject any offer made by that man? A man who had turned the closest thing to a home she had into a hell? I did not complain, I merely listened and observed.

I did not complain when McGonagall sent me and the entire Slytherin house to the dungeons. I was not happy, far from it in fact. Did that woman even realize what she had done? She had just singlehandedly condemned the entire house by more or claiming they weren't trustworthy. Not only that, but was the woman daft? If she truly believed her house wanted to support the Death Eaters then why in Merlin's name would they lock them up within the very castle they were trying to protect guarded only by a squib? I did not complain instead I merely removed all signs of my house affinition and stayed right there in the Great Hall. I may have been branded as evil when I was eleven, but if I don't stay and protect my home now wouldn't I just be proving that they are right?

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 **Author Notes**

I hope you guys like this little one-shot. Originally this idea came when I re-watched the last movie and saw the scene with McGonagall sending all the Slytherin students to the dungeons and I thought what would have happened if one of the Slytherin students had protested against that treatment? In the early draft Tracey would call her out on her rather bigoted statement, but as I was writing this one-shot I realized I put her through worse and she didn't complain then so I altered the ending slightly.

This is also my first (and most likely last) attempt at writing in first person. It was a fun experience, but not one I am likely to repeat again.

I also hope you people like this version of Tracey Davis. In fanon she is almost always portrayed as one of the 'good' Slytherin, best friend of 'Ice Queen' Daphne Greengrass and generally a nice person. I wanted to go a slightly different route with her in this one-shot.

Lastly R.I.P. Alan Rickman, he made me like a character I generally disliked in the books.


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